relief

i had lunch with one of the nicest people in my department, someone i think i can trust and who's been very nice with me. she's also new here, and we decided to have lunch together today. we talked... and talked... and talked... and i was very happy to realize that i was not the only one feeling somehow disconcerted at the way things work here. she also feels disappointed by the way we were in a sense lied to, during our job interviews, when we were told that this and that were going to happen and we would create this and we would change that and there were so many opportunities at this university etc... and in the end, nothing happens, every time we wante to do something we're told that we can't because it would upset someone or some other department, and in general, things are a mess. i was so glad to hear her say that.

in the end, she said she gave the department two years to make her feel the way she should be feeling now, the way she was promised to be feeling now... it amazes me that she left a wonderful job at a very large university somewhere else to come here (she transfered her tenure here). so she knows what she's talking about and i can see that it was not just me complaining about things but that there is a real problem in this university.

we also both think that this university needs to learn about drinking fountains and provide at least one per department!!!

$10,000

some days i love my job, some days i hate my job. most days, though, i just wonder why i've been hired. i think the thing that bothers me the most is that even if i end up loving what i'm doing, it's not in my "field" really, and if i eventually decide to find a new job in teacher education, i'll be in trouble because i won't have done anything in this area. also, i'm starting to feel schizophrenic because i am still working on articles that relate to my previous life (teacher education, esl) and i'm soon going to be expected to work on projects that relate to my current job (which is what? i'm not sure yet).

so, i've been working on the creation of a new course that has absolutely nothing to do with anything i know, but i must admit that it's been fun (although i look like an idiot when people ask me what i'm doing and i have to tell them that i don't have a clue). i've baught two hundred thousand books on the subject and i'm trying to learn as much as possible. i'm talking with tons of people who usually don't know about all this any more than i do, which is a relief, and i've presented the first outline at our departmental meeting yesterday for a first approval. so far so good.

anyway, i just got a photocopy card with $10,000 on it... i guess this university's got money! maybe they could also increase my salary?

moving in the right direction

two good things happened recently, two victories, in a sense. first, i met with the current writing center director and i'm now working with her more closely to get to know the writing center and the people working there so that i'm ready to take over next year. there's a lot of work that needs to be done and i've ordered a few books on writing centers because i'll need all the help i can get. the tutors seem nice and i'm excited to work with them more and more.

second, i decided that i really didn't like the way the class i teach is being taught (all sections have to teach exactly the same way)! next semester, only one section of this course will be taught and i've asked my boss if i could teach it instead of teaching another course as i was supposed to do. i explained my reasons (changing textbooks, problems with cheating, organisation of assignments, etc.) and my boss said ok. was supposed to teach only 1 class next semester and i don't know if i'll teach only this class or if i'll teach this class IN ADDITION to the other class i was supposed to teach, but i don't care much, i'm not terribly busy yet and it'll keep me busy during the long winter nights.

i feel a little better...