that's it, the semester's over, i taught my last course yesterday. this feels very good. i must grade papers, now, and meet with tons of students who have different questions, who must tell me about the book they read, who want to convince me to change their grades from an F to an A, who must take a test to be placed in different courses next semester... so, two more weeks on campus and then i'm really done. but not having to teach is a good start!
i had lunch with my chair on thursday. my only complaint was that i felt terribly isolated from the rest of the department because i'm the only one not doing literature. her only complaint was that i spoke too much and "during your first year, it's better to observe and listen"...
who cares. i'm almost on vacation :)
Affichage des articles dont le libellé est authority. Afficher tous les articles
Affichage des articles dont le libellé est authority. Afficher tous les articles
02 décembre 2006
08 septembre 2006
day 2
the weird thing is that it's hard for me to think of myself as only a teacher and no longer a student. yesterday, when that lady was being stupid about starting class at 11:00, i should have acted as a professor, not as a TA. i should not let people give me orders, i should not be intimidated by people, i should not shut up during a meeting with the dean of engineering when the topic is esl students and i'm the expert. i must find a way to see myself as "just as good as they are." it'll be a long process.
i also feel that for now, i've been hired as an "image" of something but i'm not supposed to really do anything except teach and publish. my job description talks about leadership in this and leadership in that and revising the curriculum and upgrading the course and blah blah... but really, i don't think the esl instructors see me as something else than "just another esl instructor who knows nothing about nothing" and every time i make a suggestion, they say "oh, no, we've been doing things THAT way for many semesters and..." and they won't change. their excuses are either that "it works" so why change it, and also that "it's not university policy" so we just can't change it. for example, we all have to have exactly the same assignments at the same time, and we need to grade everything exactly the same way. i want to add an extra chapter? no can do! i want to penalized my students if they come late to class or miss class? no can do. i want to use different examples than those in the (british!) textbook? no can do!
something else is highly disturbing: the esl instructors see all their students as cheaters and liers. for example, we can't assigned them to write essays at home because "they'll ask someone else to write the essays for them." so we have to ask the students to write each essay (it's a composition class!) IN CLASS and then we initial EACH PARAGRAPH before they leave class and then they can revise the essay at home once and we only grade the revised essay. forget about the importance of revision! we can't ask them to revise the ideas but only to revise grammar. why bother about the ideas, the organization, the sentence structure, etc.?! another example is, we MUST all have our exams on the same exact day and we can't have exactly the same exam (but then we're supposed to grade the exams exactly the same way!) "because they'll memorize the questions on the exam and they'll tell their friends in other sections." etc. etc. etc. it's not like everyone is innocent until proven guilty, it's everyone is guilty, period! i absolutely hate that. on the one hand, we have to "treat them like adults" so we can't take attendance, and on the other hand, we treat them like kids and can't even ask them to write an essay at home because they'll cheat. right. this is so screwed up.
i also feel that for now, i've been hired as an "image" of something but i'm not supposed to really do anything except teach and publish. my job description talks about leadership in this and leadership in that and revising the curriculum and upgrading the course and blah blah... but really, i don't think the esl instructors see me as something else than "just another esl instructor who knows nothing about nothing" and every time i make a suggestion, they say "oh, no, we've been doing things THAT way for many semesters and..." and they won't change. their excuses are either that "it works" so why change it, and also that "it's not university policy" so we just can't change it. for example, we all have to have exactly the same assignments at the same time, and we need to grade everything exactly the same way. i want to add an extra chapter? no can do! i want to penalized my students if they come late to class or miss class? no can do. i want to use different examples than those in the (british!) textbook? no can do!
something else is highly disturbing: the esl instructors see all their students as cheaters and liers. for example, we can't assigned them to write essays at home because "they'll ask someone else to write the essays for them." so we have to ask the students to write each essay (it's a composition class!) IN CLASS and then we initial EACH PARAGRAPH before they leave class and then they can revise the essay at home once and we only grade the revised essay. forget about the importance of revision! we can't ask them to revise the ideas but only to revise grammar. why bother about the ideas, the organization, the sentence structure, etc.?! another example is, we MUST all have our exams on the same exact day and we can't have exactly the same exam (but then we're supposed to grade the exams exactly the same way!) "because they'll memorize the questions on the exam and they'll tell their friends in other sections." etc. etc. etc. it's not like everyone is innocent until proven guilty, it's everyone is guilty, period! i absolutely hate that. on the one hand, we have to "treat them like adults" so we can't take attendance, and on the other hand, we treat them like kids and can't even ask them to write an essay at home because they'll cheat. right. this is so screwed up.
03 septembre 2006
last days
classes start on tuesday. i'm enjoying my last days without anything to grade or worry about... except that i am not ready at all to teach my first class. the good thing is that i only teach on thursdays and fridays... but we have our first esl meeting on tuesday, and since i'll be the "chief" of this thing, i should really try to prepare something so i don't look too much like an idiot.
ok, story time: a couple of weeks ago, there were two big "placement days" for our part-time (community) students. representatives from all departments were gathered around tables and students would go around and talk to the people in the departments they were interested in taking courses from. very often, they were given placement tests and then were assigned to different classes and levels according to the test results. there also were people from the esl sub-department, placing students in our grammar, writing, culture, and pronunciation courses and i was helping. i was sitting next to mary at a table and learning as much as i could and then tentatively helping with the "easiest cases," and other esl people were sitting at other tables. at some points, when there were fewer students to take care of, some of the other teachers would come and talk to mary about certain problems... and each time, mary would introduce me, since i'd never met any of the other esl people before. ...
... and each time, these other esl teachers would say, when mary introduced me, "oh, you're dr. lulu?! i thought you were just a student helping mary..."
as soon as i get my next paycheck (in 2 weeks, dammit), i'll have to go spend a LOT of money on clothes that look a little more professional, and makeup, and i don't know what else... because right now, i look like a freshman right out of highschool and that's NOT good!
ok, story time: a couple of weeks ago, there were two big "placement days" for our part-time (community) students. representatives from all departments were gathered around tables and students would go around and talk to the people in the departments they were interested in taking courses from. very often, they were given placement tests and then were assigned to different classes and levels according to the test results. there also were people from the esl sub-department, placing students in our grammar, writing, culture, and pronunciation courses and i was helping. i was sitting next to mary at a table and learning as much as i could and then tentatively helping with the "easiest cases," and other esl people were sitting at other tables. at some points, when there were fewer students to take care of, some of the other teachers would come and talk to mary about certain problems... and each time, mary would introduce me, since i'd never met any of the other esl people before. ...
... and each time, these other esl teachers would say, when mary introduced me, "oh, you're dr. lulu?! i thought you were just a student helping mary..."
as soon as i get my next paycheck (in 2 weeks, dammit), i'll have to go spend a LOT of money on clothes that look a little more professional, and makeup, and i don't know what else... because right now, i look like a freshman right out of highschool and that's NOT good!
27 août 2006
little me
here's an example of the kinds of problems i'm facing at my new job:
the department where i now work has been offering some esl courses to the engineering and geography departments (don't get me started on that!) for about 15 years. no full-time person worked there. one person, we'll call her mary, has been working (part-time) as the supervisor of 5 part-time esl teachers for many many years. mary is excellent at her job and the esl teachers have worked well with her. last year, the department has decided to create a full-time esl position that would kind of take care of all this and help the esl section work better (and ultimately become a separate department (don't get me started on that one either!)). many people applied for the position, including me and mary. i got the job. mary didn't and is still employed only part-time by the university. now, mary works "under" me, between me and the 5 esl teachers who, every year, don't know if they'll have a job or not, depending on the number of esl/bilingual students enrolled that year. i'm going to have to supervise 5 teachers without knowing a thing about them, how they work, why they do things the way they do them (and trust me, i don't know if i'll ever understand why they do certain things the way they do!), and to tell them what to do when mary's been doing this very well for many years. i am not confortable at all with this position, to say the least. what am i supposed to do? tell them that everything they do is wrong (after all, that's what i was hired for, right?) and change the whole darn esl program and they'll all hate me? tell them that everything they do is great so that i don't offend anyone and change nothing? how can i become the leader of a tight group of people (definitely much older than me) whose names i don't even know and that's been working so well for so many years? where can i find the authority and how can i become respected?
the department where i now work has been offering some esl courses to the engineering and geography departments (don't get me started on that!) for about 15 years. no full-time person worked there. one person, we'll call her mary, has been working (part-time) as the supervisor of 5 part-time esl teachers for many many years. mary is excellent at her job and the esl teachers have worked well with her. last year, the department has decided to create a full-time esl position that would kind of take care of all this and help the esl section work better (and ultimately become a separate department (don't get me started on that one either!)). many people applied for the position, including me and mary. i got the job. mary didn't and is still employed only part-time by the university. now, mary works "under" me, between me and the 5 esl teachers who, every year, don't know if they'll have a job or not, depending on the number of esl/bilingual students enrolled that year. i'm going to have to supervise 5 teachers without knowing a thing about them, how they work, why they do things the way they do them (and trust me, i don't know if i'll ever understand why they do certain things the way they do!), and to tell them what to do when mary's been doing this very well for many years. i am not confortable at all with this position, to say the least. what am i supposed to do? tell them that everything they do is wrong (after all, that's what i was hired for, right?) and change the whole darn esl program and they'll all hate me? tell them that everything they do is great so that i don't offend anyone and change nothing? how can i become the leader of a tight group of people (definitely much older than me) whose names i don't even know and that's been working so well for so many years? where can i find the authority and how can i become respected?
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